fairytale coat – the truth about puss in boots

This post is written by Branston. You can tell because my grammar and punctuation are generally far superior to my monkey’s.

I get very annoyed when I watch that “Shrek” film with my monkey. I’m not frightened of the ogre, you understand, I’m far too brave. No, get annoyed when that so-called “Puss In Boots” charachter appears. You see, as usual, Hollywood has got it all wrong – that Banderas voiced ninny has about as much to do with the real Puss as me wandering into our local branch of Boots the chemist to buy flea treaments. Not that I ever get fleas, of course, and even if I did I would send the Monkey to Boots.

No, I get irritated because Hollywood portrays our glorious hero as a ginger cat.

Ginger – seriously? Do these idiots not know how to research? Do they know nothing of felines?

The famous puss of legend could never have been ginger, as any fool would know, because (and you’ll have to excuse me being racist here, but it has to be said) gingers are feckwits. The average ginger cat is even more stupid than my poor deluded monkey, and trust me, that’s pretty damn stupid.

If they had done even the slightest bit of research, if they had even bothered to ask the average kitty in the street, even a ginger would have told them Puss In Boots was a greykin.

The legend could only have been a greykin, becuase grey cats are without doubt the cleverest, most intelligent, cunning, witty, suave, dextrous, glorious, bravest, handsomest (~cough~this is your monkey, Branston, I think that’s enough adjectives, thank you)and bestest kitties in the world.

Determined to right this wrong, I had stern words with my monkey. I told her that Puss In Boots on the fairytail coat had better be grey. I even modelled, because I’m helpful that way.

Of course, the results don’t really do justice to the model. I’m far more handsome and dashing in the flesh…

branny in boots

I do look good in boots though.

~ by opusanglicanum on August 6, 2014.

18 Responses to “fairytale coat – the truth about puss in boots”

  1. The monkey did you proud Branston.

  2. Boss and Hog, my greykin boys, have asked me to let you know that they are applauding Branston for speaking out on this subject. They want me to add that pictures can never capture the true beauty of greykins but they can tell from the grace and poise of this depiction that Branston is, like themselves, a very handsome fellow.

  3. In defense of ginger cats…I have one and his is very, VERY clever! Smart as can be but is a bit anti-social. I do realize he may be an exception to the stereotype though. 🙂

    • branston says he must have some greykin dna somewhere.

      I had a balck cat called truffles who was very very smart, but unfortunately he was smart enough to work out that the cute but dumb routine gets you more cat treats – I once watched him deliberately frame my then greykin for theft by leaving the evidence (once he’d finsihed playing with it) in between the sleeping greykins paws.

      my friends ginger, weasley, is dumb stereotypically dumb as a stump

  4. Modest fellow, isn’t he, too!

  5. Branston, you are a seriously hot cat – step aside Antonio Banderas!

  6. Tell your servant to make you a new brightly-coloured hat, so that it stands out better against the dark background and brings out the colour of your beautiful eyes. She lives for such work, you know. You can reward her with a fat mouse.

  7. He has a very fetching mustache…

  8. Scissors, coloured felt tips/ sketch pad. Packed lunch is a good idea

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